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It is not what you were thinking

It is how you are thinking.

The Emotional Sandwich



There can be an emotional link between Depression, Guilt, Anger and Pain.


It is not what you were thinking

It is how you are thinking.

1. DEPRESSION: Confusion, anxiety, fear, disconnected, numb

ASK THE REV: Most of each day, I have been depressed and sad for some time. I do not enjoy things I used to look forward to doing.  I do not sleep well at night and feel run down and tired during the day. Things look hopeless and I feel my life is worthless. I lose concentration and I am afraid to make any kind of decent decisions. I am not interested in going any where or with any one. How do I get out of my depression?

Depression many times is caused by carrying the pressure of unexpressed guilt.

2. GUILT COMPLEX: Guilt, shame, self-blame

ASK THE REV: I have tremendous feelings of guilt and regret about everything I do.  It is as if it is always my fault. I am always wrong.  I keep thinking of certain things over and over again.  I can't get them out of my mind. I can't do the normal everyday things I used to do. I don't get much sleep and I forget about eating. My friends tell me it is the pain of my conscious telling I did something wrong to someone.  Others say I messed up over something.  If I could remember what it was, I would make it right.

Guilt can be caused by unexpressed anger. When we cannot show our anger to another we dump it on ourselves and that creates our guilt.

3. ANGER: Explosive, not my fault, blame and shame others.

ASK THE REV: My anger has to do with how other people act toward me. I get angry and yell when I am interrupted, or when they criticize or disagree with me.  When I loose control of my anger I break and throw things and I even punch another during an argument.  It is not my fault if I said things I later regretted. I would not have said or done those things if they had not hurt my feelings.

Anger many times is a sign that we are covering up our pain. When we feel hurt because of what someone did to us we cover the pain with our anger.

4. LONG TERM EMOTIONAL PAIN: When emotions catch up to our intellect, the pain hits even more.

ASK THE REV: Something unexpected and painful happened. I was unprepared for it and was powerless to prevent it. I was in shock and disbelief that someone could be so intentionally cruel. I remember every painful moment of it to this day. I will always remember it. I cannot find anything good about what happened. I will always have the pain. There never will be closure.

To overcome our symptoms we must deal with the cause. Depression, guilt and anger can be symptoms of past or current pain. There can be no long term closure for pain caused by trying to think or feel something good about an   unforgivable event or unlovable person. Pain can come from many things such as childhood abuse, rape, divorce, the murder of a family member to current criticism, rejection and disagreement.

It takes work and understanding to heal this kind of pain. To overcome our pain we must understand where it comes from. Our feelings such as pain are not caused by what happens. The feeling of pain is caused by what we think about the event. Closure can never come when we try to find a thought that will give us Peace about an unforgivable and unlovable event. It is possible to find closure and Peace when we are at Peace, not about what happened, but find Peace in spite of the event.

It is not what you were thinking

It is how you are thinking.

What we think out of the Presence: our negative thoughts create our pain about the situation. How we think in the Presence: the feeling of the Peace creates a peaceful thought in the situation.

This is something we cannot just think about or memorize. We can only discover by doing it. Wonder what difference it makes when you are in the Peace Presence of God or when you are out and feeling the pain about what happened. You will receive the Wisdom you are looking for to bring balance into your life.


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Copyright 2008-2011 Paul Edwards