Dealing with Unfathfulness

ASK THE REV: I have been unfaithful with my wife. It was a mistake. I feel so guilty. I promised her I will never do it again. She has lost all trust in me. I have said I am sorry, but she keeps bring it up to me. When is she going to get over it a so we can move on together?

One Dimensional Spirituality is trying to change the event to have you both can get over what happened. You try to change what you did by promising her you will never be unfaithful again. You try to have her trust you by saying you are sorry. Changing what you did is not her problem.

In Two Dimensional Spirituality you realize you cannot change what you did. You know thoughts create feelings. Your thoughts of guilt create your feelings of guilt. If you can change what you are thinking about, you can be free from your guilt. But, it will not change her thoughts that create her pain.

By trying One and Two Dimensional Spirituality you are trying to have both of you have a good feeling or a good thought about what you did. You try to change how she thinks about your unforgivable act and the unloving feeling she has toward you. In many cases it is a "Mission Impossible".

In Three Dimensional Spirituality you realize what you are thinking is not working. You need to change from what, to how you are thinking. Getting in touch with your inner Presence can give you Peace in and not about what you did. Being In the Peace changes your re-action to her into a pro-action with her. When In the Peace, feel her pain rather than thinking of the event. Share with her when you have felt the pain of betrayal. It will be difficult for her to move on until she knows that you know how she feels.